


Afraid

by roseslotusvioletiris



Category: Chicago PD (TV)
Genre: 7x04, F/M, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-16
Updated: 2019-12-16
Packaged: 2021-02-24 16:34:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21821023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roseslotusvioletiris/pseuds/roseslotusvioletiris
Summary: Post 7x04. He’s been avoiding her. She needed to find out why.
Relationships: Jay Halstead & Hailey Upton, Jay Halstead/Hailey Upton
Kudos: 54





	Afraid

Ever since bacteria outbreak, Jay had been acting weird. Hailey first assumed it was the high stakes and adrenaline of it all, but he continued his unusual behavior even a week after. 

He kept avoiding her. Whenever they weren’t working together, Jay either left the room she was in or found someone else to talk to. Hell, one time it was just him, her, and Rojas in a room together and Jay started to ask Rojas about her undercover gig before Intelligence. 

Somehow the time spent together was even worse than the time apart. Jay kept up a barrier, and didn’t initiate any conversation that wasn’t work related. She honestly didn’t know how much more of this behavior she could take. 

Hailey unlocked the doors to Intelligence and headed up the stairs, wondering what today would bring. Despite her pressing, Jay hasn’t budged and has told her he’s fine. She didn’t even have an angle to go at this issue from, as she had no idea why he was acting like this. 

She knew she had to continue to keep at it, because their friendship was too important to have this kind of problem. And their partnership may be affected as well, as the two tended to go hand in hand. 

Miraculously, Jay was the only one in the room when she walked in. Of course when he saw her, he started to walk towards and past her. “I need to talk to Platt,” was his explanation, not even giving her the decency to make eye contact. 

A frustrated sigh escaped her lips. She had tried to give him some space for once, but clearly that wasn’t working. A voice in the back of her mind reminded her that that’s why their relationship works, they don’t beat around the bush. “Cut the crap, Jay.” She snapped, her harsh tone making him stop in his tracks. “Tell me what’s up.”

“Nothing.” He deflected again, but at least turned around to face her. His eyes connected with hers, and she could see something hidden in his eyes. Guilt? Shame? She wasn’t sure. 

A few days ago she would have asked him if he was sure and he would have said yes, and the conversation would be dropped. Not this time though. “You’ve been ignoring me.” She stated, already feeling satisfaction from voicing the elephant in the room aloud. Before he could deny it, Hailey continued talking. “We know Platt isn’t downstairs yet. She doesn’t get in for another 30 minutes.” 

Jay kept his mouth shut, but the grimace on his face and his eyes shifting side to side showed her that he knew he was caught. 

“Jay,” Her voice got soft, because while she was annoyed, she was mostly concerned. Something must be really bothering him for him to be acting this ornery. “It’s me. Tell me what’s going on.” 

“It was my call.” Not knowing what he meant, she lifted an eyebrow, waiting for him to continue. “The reason why you went into the apartment building and almost got infected. It was because of me.” 

Hailey blinked, not expecting this to be Jay’s reason for being so aloof lately. For all the trauma he has experienced in his life, this was what he was all torn up about? “Why didn’t you tell me?” She questioned, shaking her head at his stubbornness. Despite his improvements, Jay still tended to keep things from her. She knew it was a hard habit to break, but it wasn’t like she actually got infected. 

Jay opened his mouth, but no words came out. She guessed he didn’t really have a reason, at least a good one, or didn’t want her to know why. Again. 

“Jay—“

He spoke at the same time. “I thought it would go away after awhile.” He admitted, even looking a little sheepish. 

Now this wasn’t surprising to her. Jay was notorious for stuffing things down and letting them combust at a later date. 

They both were. Hailey couldn’t help but admit to herself. Not as much as Jay, but still she has found herself in similar situations from time to time. That’s why their partnership worked, they held each other accountable and kept each other from going too far. 

She couldn’t help but smirk when she replied with, “That still hasn’t worked for you, Jay.” She pointed out, her smirk disappearing when she didn’t get one in return. In fact, his face was more serious than before. 

“It has really bothered me.” He walked past her, heading over to his desk. Hailey followed him, her curiosity getting the best of her. Besides, if Jay didn’t want to talk, he wouldn’t have opened up about his feelings. 

His gaze was making her feel uncomfortable and hot, so she focused her attention lower. His hands were on his desk, fingers gripped tightly over the wood. “I’m fine though, Jay.” She locked eyes with him again to prove her point. “Nothing happened.” 

“What if something did?” He countered. 

Two can play at this game. “What if you would have poured the bacteria over your cut?” She threw back at him, getting frustrated again. 

“That was my decision.”

“Like it was my decision to listen to you and enter the building? My decision to try to catch Veronica?” He was silent, so she continued, again talking in a softer voice. “Jay, I’m not your responsibility. You made the call, but i agreed to it. We both didn’t expect for Veronica to be infected.” 

Jay still looked bothered, this time his eyes were down on his desk, seeming deep in thought. Determined to not have him shut her out again, Hailey reached out to grab his arm, gaining his attention back. “I don’t blame you. So stop blaming yourself.” 

He finally decided to voice what was on his mind. “I can’t handle the thought of you being hurt, Hailey.” 

Her heart throbbed at his vulnerable words. Well she couldn’t blame him for having this thought, because she felt the same way with him. Finding him on that case months ago, on the ground... She was so sure he was shot. Her own experiences were on the tip of her tongue before she managed to bury them deeper inside. 

Instead she encouraged him. She knew it was hypocritical to refuse to talk herself while wanting him to, but chose to ignore it. “Then let’s talk about it.” 

He brushed her hand off with his own, fingers lingering briefly on her skin. “I’m afraid what will happen if we do.” 

The implication was there. That sort of topic would only open the doors of areas both her and Jay didn’t want to venture to. 

Or more like Jay said, too afraid to. 

So she stopped pressing. “Okay.” She relented, feeling relieved herself.

She didn’t go on because he seemed like he had something to say. But there was nothing but silence. 

Silence wasn’t good after that type of confession from Jay. It was dangerous.

She bumped her hip against his, determined to bring back the platonic side of their relationship. “At least tell me what’s up next time.” 

He cracked a smile. It wasn’t huge, but at least it was something. “I will.” He promised.

Satisfied with his response, Hailey went to her desk. As she sat down, she heard Jay calling her name. 

She looked up, wondering what he had to say, as their conversation seemed to have come to a resolution. Or was it about their most recent case? She began to skim her paperwork, wanting to refresh her mind before discussing with Jay. 

“We good?” 

Confused, she met Jay’s eyes again. 

Apprehension was clouding his eyes, a stark difference from the smile she was given moments ago. 

Her own self questioning Jay in this same manner after he found out about her and Adam popped into her memory. She felt nervous that day, wondering if their relationship would change. 

Jay must be feeling the same way she did. 

“We’re good, Jay.” They always would be.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! I actually started this fic right after the crossover, but kept changing the direction I wanted to go with it! So here it is! As always, I don’t own anything. Also if you couldn’t tell, their final exchange mirrored the conversation Jay and Hailey had when he found out about her and Adam.


End file.
